Battling the exhaustion and isolation of being a home caregiver.

Derek Tanner, RN - Professional Headshot

Written by Derek Tanner, RN
Registered Nurse | Healthcare Experience Since 2009

by Elizabeth (New York, United States)

I moved my mother into my home two years ago, she turns 87 tomorrow and suffers from dementia. I am her caregiver 24/7/360 – MAYBE getting 5 days of a year – one day here and there – from one of my sisters.
I have 6 sisters and can never get anyone to take out mother to give me a break, or even come stay with her so I can go grocery shopping or run errands.
I am exhausted.
I have reached out and do have a couple of volunteers what give me a few hours a week for errand running, and I hire a sitter for 6 – 8 hours a week so I can have a few hours of uninterrupted work time.
I work from home and I suffer from fibromyalgia (chronic pain and fatigue), so care of mom around the clock is becoming more than I can handle.
In two months I am calling a meeting of my sisters and am going to threaten to call Uncle if someone(s) can not stop helping me.
In my heart I am fairly confident (and fearful) they will not as they refused all of my requests so far.
I don’t think I will have the heart to place her if they won’t help. I am willing to do 80% alone – I am so frustrated that between 6 of them they can not do 20%.

Derek’s Reply (Mar 22, 2016):

It definitely sounds like you have a full plate on your hands and then some. I can’t say I know how you feel because I haven’t been in your situation but I do have an aunt who takes care of my grandma almost completely by herself. She is often stressed and overwhelmed as well. It’s a shame that you aren’t getting help from others especially since you have yourself to take care of. Unfortunately, sometimes a nursing home is the only option. Give us an update on how the meeting went after you have it. I hope and pray your family sees that you are in way over your head and will help take some of the load off your shoulders. I look forward to hearing back from you. Thanks for sharing.

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